DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it acceptable to precise condolences to a co-worker who was terminated, when you really feel that termination was well-justified?
The co-worker is definitely confused at having misplaced his job, however he didn’t ship what was requested of him. I used to be typically slowed down or annoyed by his skilled actions. Nonetheless, I didn’t personally dislike him.
GENTLE READER: By condolences, you presumably imply saying that you’re sorry your co-worker was fired. And, for good motive, you aren’t.
However Miss Manners is aware of different methods to commiserate: “I want you luck,” “I hope you’ll keep up a correspondence” and even, whether it is believable, “I’ll miss you.”
She realizes that these statements include bland goodwill and are usually not prone to lead to motion. However individuals are inclined to imply them on the time, and they’re a sort solution to say goodbye.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Are relations required to attend household vacation spot weddings?
GENTLE READER: No. If the place is particular to the bridal couple, go there in your honeymoon. Not everybody is ready to accompany you, and never everybody who may take pleasure in attending the ceremony desires to journey with you.
If this sounds harsh, Miss Manners reminds everybody who provides a vacation spot wedding ceremony that attending calls for a big dedication from friends when it comes to money and time. Due to this fact, issuing such invites have to be accompanied by the gracious acceptance that many well-wishers will nonetheless have sensible (or different) causes to not attend.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: What can I do or say to discourage well-wishers from slapping my shoulder?
About six months in the past, I fell, tearing my rotator cuff. After days within the hospital, weeks of restoration and months of rehab, I’m near regular, besides when pleasant people whack me on the shoulder and ask how I’m doing.
Are you able to counsel any method I can stop this act whereas remaining cordial?
GENTLE READER: Have you ever considered carrying epaulets? You might need to hitch the navy and work your method up in rank, however … Oh, possibly not. By that point, your shoulder could be absolutely healed.
Miss Manners had hoped that the behavior of promiscuously grabbing individuals had been quelled by the pandemic. However she had additionally hoped that folks may begin carrying handkerchiefs as an alternative of sneezing into their elbows.
No. It’s proper again to the previous habits.
So your solely protection is to study to identify these painful thumps coming. Maintain practising social distancing, and swerve your harm shoulder away from others. Miss Manners needs she had one thing simpler to counsel.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I feel it’s completely impolite to bus your personal desk at a restaurant. I’ve a relative who does this, and takes issues after I’m not even executed with them.
GENTLE READER: Impolite as it’s to seize the meals away from one’s fellow diners, it’s worse to seize work away from the restaurant workers. It’s doing them a disservice, not a favor, as your bossy relative might fancy. Miss Manners solely hopes this doesn’t embrace swiping their suggestions.
(Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her electronic mail, [email protected]; or by means of postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.)